Harry used to serve his country but now just serves himself – Meghan’s moving on & even Kim Kardashian shows him up
MUCH like the Bermuda Triangle, the Voynich manuscript and Amelia Earhart’s mid-air disappearance, it is one of the world’s great unsolved mysteries: JUST WHAT DOES PRINCE HARRY DO?
This week, it has come to a head with the news that his wife’s multi- million pound Netflix deal is to be recommissioned, but done so without any guest appearances from the Great Moaner of Montecito.
Harry, a man who left Eton with a ten-metre swimming badge and a couple of A-Levels, is reportedly surplus to requirements.
His own vanity projects — the Polo series and Heart Of Invictus — largely sank without trace. (Possibly in the Bermuda Triangle, but who knows?)
Is Harry, at 40, in the first throes of a midlife crisis?
Since leaving the Army, something he was genuinely passionate about and, by all accounts, brilliant at, Harry has lost his identity.
Like many ex-military men, he has lost his sense of purpose: one he so evidently hoped to find as one half of the world’s hottest, most powerful power couple.
But as Harry is coming to discover, no amount of free champagne, red carpet sycophancy, dinner next door chez Gwyneth or appearances on Oprah can replace the camaraderie and raison d’etre of serving your country.
Harry’s only purpose now is serving himself.
While Meghan Markle is beginning to find her groove as the planet’s first ex-royal influencer, Harry appears to have no discernible talent.
By contrast, his wife’s As Ever brand is taking off.
While Meghan Markle is beginning to find her groove as the planet’s first ex-royal influencer, Harry appears to have no discernible talent
Clemmie
The great and good of Hollywood are talking about her jams, while the clothes she promotes — with a savvy financial kickback, natch — fly off the rails.
Harry’s dad jeans and Chelsea boots aren’t flying anywhere.
And the other all-too-apparent problem, highlighted by recent developments, is that he’s also just a really, really rubbish rich man . . . as demonstrated in the unlikely form of Kim Kardashian.
His humiliating court case loss earlier this month, in which the judge ruled Harry’s “sense of grievance” over security did not amount to the basis for a successful appeal, comes in stark contrast to Ms Kardashian’s court case, which ended last week.
During the trial in Paris, the American superstar bravely gave evidence, reliving her heist ordeal.
She told the court her wrists were bound with cable ties and she was thrown to the bed, and firmly believed she was going to die.
Mega-rich’s super-tax
After five hours on the stand, she calmly told the gang leader she forgave him and reiterated her desire to study law to help others in her position.
Not once during her trial did she bemoan her bad luck or slag off her security team, who had reportedly buggered off to a nightclub with her sisters.
She didn’t go running to the BBC or Oprah after, cashing in on her trauma porn.
Instead, she somehow learnt from it, and wanted good to emerge from a truly awful situation.
Now that, from a woman so often cruelly mocked, is empowering.
Kim didn’t sue Emmanuel Macron for not issuing her with state security, despite, like Harry, being one of the most recognisable non-royal faces in the world
Clemmie
Where’s that energy from our very entitled, multi-millionaire Duke of Sussex?
Kim didn’t sue Emmanuel Macron for not issuing her with state security, despite, like Harry, being one of the most recognisable non-royal faces in the world.
Because, quite simply, Kim Kardashian knows that with fame, fortune and privilege comes a hefty security bill.
It is the mega-rich’s super-tax, if you will.
Harry, of course, is a security risk and must be protected.
But he is no longer a serving royal, and that was his choice, and as such he should be treated like any other uber-famouser.
And that means footing his own protection bill.
Lookalike Charlotte so fetching in doggie Bridgerton
BIG congratulations to Charlotte, a French bulldog, who rolled in second at the prestigious Bridgerton lookalike competition at the Greenwich Dog Show on Sunday.
She’s a dead ringer for Queen Charlotte, Golda Rosheuvel.
BOJO PLAN A NO GO
RUMOURS swirled over the weekend that Boris Johnson is being lined up by Tory plotters for a return to frontline politics.
Hmm. Mystic Moodie predicts not.
This is a 60-year-old man – granted, embryonic by Washington terms – who has just sired his ninth child from three different women.
For a man earning a not-inconsiderable fortune for private gigs, books, a newspaper column and after-dinner speaking, I’m pretty certain a £170,000 PM salary just won’t cut it.
You read it here first.
HOLMES TRAGIC TRIP
POOR ol’ Eamonn Holmes took a tumble live on air on the GB News floor last week.
The show was forced to take a prolonged ad break as they got him up ‘n’ functioning again and Eamonn blamed the chair’s wobbly wheels for his unfortunate crash.
Presumably that’ll be Ruth Langsford out with the screwdriver again . . .
LISTEN TO MA
A VIDEO has emerged of French President Emmanuel Macron, 47, getting slapped in the face by his wife, Brigitte, 72, as he disembarked the presidential plane in Vietnam.
His office initially denied the incident before awkwardly U-turning and describing it as “playful teasing”.
Just a reminder – you should always be sure to do what your mum tells you.
FACE IT, KRIS IS SUPERB
THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is (nearly) 70.
Kris Jenner, momager of the Kardashian clan and doyenne of the facelift, has shown the results of her latest under-the-knife experiment – and wow.
She looks INCREDIBLE.
For those bemoaning how unfair it is that the rich ‘n’ famous have access to such fountains of youth, and can cheat their way to high cheekbones and collagen, I say good for her.
How inspiring, frankly, that this is even possible.
As someone who had a facelift six months ago – and doesn’t look just out of nappies, rather how I should look had I not sunbathed in extra virgin olive oil – I’m all for people doing what they want to their own bodies.
She’s also redefining what it means to be in the twilight years, and that can only be encouraged.
BIG C CHECK
TWO birds, one stone from Cancer Research UK. Under the auspices of sun protection, the charity has wisely suggested men cover up this summer.
Two in five melanomas in men are found on the chest, back and torso – so yes, all you pasty, pot-bellied, anchor-tattooed chaps – cover up.
It’s for your own good . . .
BBC SO LEFTIE
HOW leftie is the BBC, really?
Former Chancellor Jeremy Hunt has revealed he went on Radio 4’s Today programme with actress Miriam Margolyes, who went on air to say she’d wished him luck, but had really wanted to say, “F*** you, you bastard”.
He reveals he got a grovelling apology from the Corporation, “although later learnt they privately congratulated her”.
Impartiality at its finest.
