The One Show’s Alex Jones on being a working mum, trying for baby number two and the gender pay gap
There was a time when Alex Jones played as hard as she worked, but that was before becoming a mum to 21-month-old Teddy
THERE was a time when Alex Jones played as hard as she worked.
The life and soul of any party, she would never turn down the offer of a night out. But that was before Teddy.
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“A few years ago I’d have been the last one standing at the bar,” she says. “But priorities shift.
"Now I run home and I’d much rather have some toast and tea in bed. So a much less high-octane existence!
"It’s a steadier, more solid, gentler pace as opposed to the staccato lifestyle my husband and I had before, which was all over the place.”
Then she adds as an afterthought: “But now and again, nothing is going to hit the spot more than a glass of rosé.”
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Earlier this year the Welsh TV presenter, 41, published her debut book Winging It, a brutally honest account of life as a first-time mum to son Teddy, now 21 months, and an emotionally turbulent year that tested her marriage – and often her sanity.
She was determined not to sugarcoat it, and so the tears, the arguments, the highs and the lows were all documented in detail.
“I didn’t really think about how raw the content was,” she says now. “There was no time to dress it up or worry about it and I knew it had to be honest and from the heart, otherwise it’s not giving anybody anything.
“On day three or four [of being a mum] I remember thinking: ‘When is this going to end?’ And then having this awful realisation that the answer was never.
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"I thought I couldn’t possibly keep going, but also: ‘Come on, Al, this is pathetic. You’re 39 years old, how can you not cope?’
"But the truth is when you break it down and start speaking to friends, everyone goes through the same thing. There’s more of a fashion now to be truthful about it, and I think that’s helpful. Lower the standards, make them more realistic and be supportive of each other.”
Her husband Charlie Thomson, an insurance broker, was horrified at the prospect of Alex sharing some of their darkest moments in the book.
She included, for example, the transcript of a blazing row they had when he accused her of no longer being “fun”, which left her devastated.
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“It cut me to the core,” says Alex. “But when the baby’s tiny and you’re trying to keep the house in order you don’t feel like much fun, really.
"I was worried about him reading the argument back, but you know, it’s OK. It reads like two people whose world has changed, who are trying to adapt. But sometimes you just get to boiling point and say things you don’t mean.
“It’s why ultimately you have to be in a very solid relationship before you introduce children. Don’t get me wrong – we have our ups and downs, but for the most part we’re pretty solid. And I think you have to be.”
With time, she says, she and Charlie – who wed in 2015, four years after they met – have found a balance and learned to communicate more effectively, making for a stronger marriage.
“I mean, some days we want to kill each other, and some of our exchanges on the landing have not been pleasant.
"But even before we had Ted I knew our moral compasses were the same, and when the little stuff is getting really niggly and annoying, if you agree on the big stuff then you can usually get through it. If you’ve got love at the heart of it and you really like each other, you can get through anything.”
Alex makes no secret of the fact they’d like a second child, but confides that it’s not been as easy conceiving this time around. “I have to say, the first time – absolutely fine. Luckily, god, it happened.
"But second time, not as easy. I suppose I’m older now, but we took it for granted that it would be OK. But you don’t really know until you start trying how it’s going to go, do you?
“The majority of couples I know have had something, not always IVF, but some problem that needs to be sorted out. Hardly anyone’s story is straightforward, and it’s not really talked about that much.
"Suddenly you see someone pregnant or with a newborn and you don’t really hark back to what happened before because everyone’s just delighted there’s a baby.”
In 2016 Alex made a documentary exploring conception, Fertility & Me, and discovered that her mother had gone through the menopause at 43, so she was more than aware of the potential issues around starting a family relatively late.
“In an ideal world, Charlie and I would have met a lot sooner, but we didn’t. I always knew I wanted a family, but I still felt really young.
"When I met him I didn’t think: ‘Oh my god, we need to have children instantly.’ I didn’t worry cos I didn’t feel old. It’s good to be aware. I had no idea about egg freezing, and if I’d known in my early 30s what I know now then I might have thought about it.
"I thought I was bulletproof, and then you realise if you want a family you do need to get on with it. But if you don’t meet the right person then it’s very difficult.”
Alex returned to work at BBC1’s The One Show just three months after Teddy was born. Later, she said perhaps she should have waited – she was still breastfeeding so it meant having to express milk while she was away, adding stress to an already high-pressure situation.
Today, however, she says she’s not sure she would do anything much differently after all. “I felt it was too early, but it’s also the nature of the job so I don’t know what the answer is.
"If we were lucky enough to have another child I’d like to think I’d take more time, but in reality it probably wouldn’t be a lot more. My job isn’t a forever job, it’s a now job. I’m no different from lots of other women who respect their job and love doing it but also want a family.
"When you’re at the peak of your career and trying to create a family at the same time it’s difficult. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just how it is. With time we found a rhythm and we sorted out childcare, and things started to slot into place.
"With one child it’s manageable. We do wonder how two is going to work. We’ll face that when we get to it… if we do get to it.”
Did she experience feelings of insecurity while she was away and Angela Scanlon was sitting in for her? “Oh my god, hugely. If you really enjoy what you do and feel lucky to do it, you’re bound to feel like that. I feel very at ease in the job, but you still have that insecurity and doubt.”
Within months of her return to work, Alex was faced with the BBC gender pay gap scandal, which revealed co-host Matt Baker earned at least £50,000 a year more than she did.
Matt’s contract that year included roles on Countryfile and sports coverage so it wasn’t an exact comparison, but the papers picked up on the disparity and both hosts found the attention excruciating.
“Did it cause tension between us? No, no. As soon as [the news broke] our editor rushed down to discuss it.
"But there’s something uncomfortable in general about having wages in the paper. And Matt and I would never talk to each other about how much we earn – we’re both quite reserved like that. It’s not something I discuss even with my parents or friends. I find it very awkward.”
She says she’s now satisfied that their pay for The One Show alone is equal – although last summer, when guest Anne Robinson asked Alex and Matt if they each knew what the other earned live on TV, it all got a little tense.
They both shifted uneasily in their seats, and Matt appeared a tad defensive, pointing out the extra shows he hosts. Does Alex think Anne was troublemaking?
“Oh, I think so. She always likes to be a bit controversh! We just clammed up, not because there’s a problem but because we don’t like talking about it.
It’s embarrassing! But I think Anne knew exactly what she was doing. Luckily we can turn around and say: ‘Yes, we do get paid the same and they respect us individually enough to pay us the same, which is right and fair.’”
That sense of what is right and fair is what prompted Alex to stick her head above the parapet and join forces with 40 top women at the BBC and sign a letter to Director General Tony Hall demanding immediate action to close the gender pay gap.
It was a step out of her comfort zone, but Alex felt strongly that she should make her thoughts clear and support her female colleagues.
She says: “I was shocked, hence the letter. Tony Hall has looked at it and since taken steps and assured people that things are being done. By 2020 there should be parity right across the BBC.
"They’ve addressed it as best they can and I think he’s a fair man and you have to believe he will sort it out.”
It’s been eight years since Alex took over from Christine Lampard on The One Show, and she reckons she’d be happy there for life.
“They’ll be taking me out in my Zimmer frame as I’m holding on to the sofa saying: ‘Noo!’ Truly, I’ll be there as long as they’ll have me. I just love it.
"The team is like family and it works really well with Ted. I get to spend the morning with him, and that’s worth its weight in gold. I feel completely safe – it’s a really nice environment. It’s just a lovely job and I appreciate it on a daily basis.”
It’s not hard to see why, as she’s perfectly suited to hosting a chat show – Alex is a reassuring presence with genuine empathy and natural warmth, both on screen and off. She’s also unpretentious and self-deprecating, but you don’t present a live programme to 5 million people every day without having a steely inner core of confidence.
As one of the BBC’s highest-profile females, Alex also hosts Shop Well For Less with Steph McGovern, and she’s been heavily involved in coverage of big events such as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding.
Currently she’s en route back from Sydney, Australia, where she hosted the Invictus Games (Charlie and Teddy also came along, as two weeks was too long to be apart).
Over the next few weeks, Alex will be turning her attention to Children In Need. Matt is doing the annual Rickshaw Challenge, which will see a team of six inspiring young people cycle 423 miles from Calais to Manchester.
The event has raised more than £20million over the last eight years.
“Children In Need affects me more now I’m a mum,” says Alex. “I’m hopeless. Anything that involves a child and parent’s relationship floors me.
"I know our job is to hold it together and be neutral, but sometimes you simply can’t. You just feel so grateful that your child – touch wood – is well.”
Speaking of which… how is Teddy? Alex beams.
“Oh, he’s lovely! Just recently he had a bit of a cold and it was one of those nights where I was in and out and I had a really early start the next morning.
At 4am I gave in and went to bed in his room, and as soon as I got in, suddenly he was miraculously better.
“I said: ‘Go to sleep now, Ted’, and he said: ‘Mama? Rwy’n dy garu di,’ which means ‘I love you’ in Welsh, and I didn’t even know he knew that. And I thought: ‘Wow, I’m so glad I gave in.’”
She says Teddy has made her more patient (“I used to have zero patience – Charlie and I wrote it into our wedding vows because it was such a problem”) as well as better at her job.
“Being a mum gives you a focus. I literally don’t know what I was doing before, but now I’m able to get through a lot more at a speed I couldn’t reach.
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"I’ll never be the same person I was, but I don’t want to be. I’m a better person, and he’s rounded off the edges. It’s what I wanted for so long. He’s hard work, but it’s made life better.”
Those late-night sessions in the pub after work seem a world away now.
“I’ve become softer,” she adds. “Because of him.”
Feeling sociable
Favourite platform?
Instagram. It’s way more positive than Twitter – less ranty and judgy.
Funniest on Twitter?
I love and . Very amusing.
Best on Insta?
Anything interiors-based.
Who influences you?
Olivia Palermo for clothes. She’s pretty flawless.
Are you on Facebook?
I don’t have it. It’s too intimate for me and there’s too much admin involved.
How do you take the perfect selfie?
I’m still wondering! I don’t practise very much, to be honest – they still make me cringe a bit.
- Tune in to The One Show at 7pm every weeknight November 8-16 to follow the Rickshaw Challenge for BBC Children In Need.
- Hair: Dino Pereira using Kiehl’s Since 1851 Magic Elixir
- Make-up: Aimee Adams using Nude By Nature
- Styling: Lynne Mckenna