PEP-TALK
Congrats Mummy Pig, but baby 3 is no walk in the pork… you’ll be broke, tired & see world’s not set up for family of 5
Scroll down to see the surprising link between baby pig Evie and Prince William's young family
FANS squealed with excitement yesterday as Good Morning Britain broke the news that cartoon cutie Peppa Pig has a new baby sister.
Echoing a royal birth, a town crier and framed announcement hailed the arrival of little Evie – also a younger sibling for George.
6
6
6
Like Prince William and Princess Kate’s brood, this little piggy was apparently born at the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital, London.
Her addition to the multi-billion-dollar Peppa franchise has been hotly anticipated.
But here, in an open letter, Caroline explains the challenges three kids bring . . .
Dear Mummy Pig,
READ MORE ON PEPPA PIG
CONGRATULATIONS! It’s great to hear the pitter-patter of new tiny trotters in any family.
I’m sure Peppa, four, and two-year-old George are beside themselves with excitement at the arrival of their baby sister, Evie.
My two sons, now eleven and seven, were over the moon when their own baby sister was born four years ago.
It was a joyous moment for all of us — then the practical realities hit.
Most read in Fabulous
Sure, there are the sleepless nights and extra nappies that come with another baby.
But at least you loosely know what you are doing by babe No3. And, Mummy Pig, you have proven time and time again to be a masterful multi-tasker.
Peppa Pig set for major change as Mummy Pig announces she’s pregnant with third baby & the date she is due too
But what came as perhaps the biggest shock for me was that the world simply isn’t set up for families of five.
I mean, having three kids is hardly an “alternative” lifestyle choice. We’re not exactly the Radfords with their clan of 22.
Yet it seems everywhere you turn, you are hit with an unofficial “third child tax”. From holidays to kids’ attractions, it is often snout of order.
The family car was our first major roadblock when our daughter was born.
Remarkably, you’ll discover there are only about four cars on the market which will fit three infant and child seats safely in the back and comply with legal requirements.
I am afraid to say, Mummy Pig, that you can wave goodbye to the cute little open-topped red car that has been your trusty family runaround for years.
Back-breaking chaos
Modern laws on child car seats will see you trading in that nippy little number for a deeply uncool and cumbersome van-like people- (or in your case, piggy-) carrier.
Remarkably, you’ll discover there are only about four cars on the market which will fit three infant and child seats safely in the back and comply with legal requirements.
A US study even found that while car seat laws have saved children’s lives, in practical terms they also contributed to lowering the birthrate by putting people off having a third tot. I can well believe it!
But it is worth investing in the right car, because trips on a plane are likely to become scarce. Pigs might fly, but you probably won’t.
The cost of a holiday abroad sky-rockets. And I am not talking about luxury trips.
When you factor in the cost of an extra seat on a flight, plus the fact you often need an extra, interconnecting room or expensive family room — if such a thing is offered — you can end up priced out of even a budget package deal.
Free child places offered by many holiday firms are often based on each paying adult.
So with foreign travel now looking unlikely, Peppa, it is a good job your family are no strangers to camping.
However, the tiny tent we have seen you squeeze into on previous trips won’t work when you have two older kids under canvas alongside a crying baby or squirming toddler.
Prepare to fork out, like we did, on a huge monstrosity with “bedrooms” divided by zippers, which is fiendishly complicated to erect.
Maybe just don’t give gaffe-prone Daddy Pig the instruction book . . .
We saw you once have a holiday in a bright-yellow camper van borrowed from Grandad Dog’s garage.
That might work better — although this time you will need a full motorhome, I’m afraid.
With three kids, even day trips can cost a fortune. Remember that lovely visit to the local museum? It will shoot up in price.
As for a family ticket, that is usually for four — so you are always buying one extra (free kids’ tickets are based on one paying adult).
When you chuck in three lots of ice-cream and a hat-trick of getting done over in the gift shop, day trips can become ISA-emptying affairs.
You could consider just staying home, of course. But that has its issues, too.
Peppa and George already share a bedroom and sleep in bunk beds (which mostly come in twos, not threes), so some expensive home upgrades are likely on the cards.
I’m afraid, Mummy Pig, it seems likely you will be evicted from the lovely little purple-walled office where you beaver away on your computer doing “very important work” — to make way for baby number three’s nursery.
Forgive the pun but, day-to-day, your home will look like a pig sty and getting through laundry for a family of five will become a never-ending chore, especially given your kids’ fixation with muddy puddles.
Meanwhile, you will be forced to work from the kitchen table surrounded by the noise and mayhem of your many children.
And be in no doubt, you WILL have to work, because you will soon become very, very poor thanks to your larger little herd.
If you have savings, you could always consider an eye-wateringly expensive loft extension to give you extra space.
Given Daddy Pig’s job as a structural engineer, this should be a breeze for him.
I just pray for your sake your charming little hilltop house doesn’t happen to be in a conservation area.
Forgive the pun but, day-to-day, your home will look like a pig sty and getting through laundry for a family of five will become a never-ending chore, especially given your kids’ fixation with muddy puddles.
Three can be a crowd sometimes, too, so prepare for sibling squabbles.
Lets face it, little George is prone to high emotions, so he doesn’t strike me as an easy fit for the tricky, middle-child role.
And if you thought Peppa was precocious and bossy, wait till Evie finds her voice!
Third children, especially girls, in my experience, are brave, cheeky and bold, with an answer for everything.
6
6
6
They learn quickly from their older siblings and soon have family members dancing to their tune.
In short, welcoming a third child into your family will likely leave you broke and knackered, and with a permanently empty fridge.
And just like Miss Rabbit, you will find yourself taking on many jobs; nurse, driver, hostage negotiator, to name but a few.
Read More on The Sun
But despite my cautionary words, trust me, you won’t swap it for the world — and once you embrace the back-breaking chaos of three, you will be happy as a pig in . . . a family of five!
Love, Caroline
Topics