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FROM scheduling sex to simply letting it happen, keeping the spark alive in a relationship is all about finding what works best for you.  

In many couples, one partner may take the lead in initiating intimacy more often than the other.

Couple in swimwear on a beach.
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Zoe Hardman, 42, and her retired rugby player husband Paul Doran Jones, 39Credit: Instagram/@zoehardman
Woman in a gold chainmail dress and black leather jacket at an outdoor party.
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She has given an insight into her sex lifeCredit: Instagram/@zoehardman
Woman in pink bikini on a beach.
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Zoe is a mum-of-three and continues to keep the passion alive in her marriageCredit: Instagram/@zoehardman

According to a study by , around 36% of couples report scheduling sex – and those who do, frequently note a higher level of intimacy satisfaction compared to couples who don’t.  

For mum-of-three Zoe Hardman, 42, and her retired rugby player husband Paul Doran Jones, 39, they have shared how they manage to keep the passion alive in their relationship.  

Speaking on the alongside her co-host Georgia Dayton, Zoe asked: “Do you schedule sex?” 

She added: “I do.”

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To which Zoe, who previously had “sexy Sundays” replied: “You do? I think we did but we don’t do that anymore.” 

Zoe continued: “Dossa gets really tetchy if he doesn’t have sex every three days. 

“So I have to manage that sometimes because it’s not always what I want.

“Then I get messages like, I’ve got to read this one to you that he sent me yesterday, he went ‘I’ve got d**k on tap for you babe.’

“I didn’t respond to it.” 

Georgia replied: “For me that would be like, oh my God, ring a plumber. Get rid of that tap.” 

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Zoe continued: “Nobody has said that since the nineties.

“So I mean, I have to manage his expectations of what is an acceptable amount. 

“But I do think that in a way, if you know when it’s coming and you, then you can maybe get a bit more excited about it. 

“Make sure you’ve had wax, and you can make sure you’ve had a shower.” 

Woman in pink bikini on a beach.
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She revealed how she 'manages expectationsCredit: Instagram/@zoehardman
Woman in a red pantsuit.
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She has given advice on working around a busy scheduleCredit: Instagram/@zoehardman
Woman in a red pantsuit and heels.
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But a turn off is 'scheduling a type of sex'Credit: Instagram/@zoehardman

Georgia replied, talking about the “sentiment of it” and how it’s more about “carving out time”.

She added: “And normally carving out time will lead to sex. 

"For some people scheduling in sex is how it works for them.” 

However, one big turn off for Zoe is "scheduling the type of sex”. 

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She said: “I think everyone has got their own funny quirks around it. 

“If you are in a busy household, and you need to know once a week, or once a month, or every other day, whatever it is for you and you know that it’s coming, then that’s fine, you’ve got to figure out what works for you.”

Couple kissing in front of Instate Fitness sign.
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Zoe Hardman and Paul Doran-Jones schedule sex in to keep the spark aliveCredit: Instagram / @zoehardman
Photo of two women smiling for a podcast.
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Zoe and Georgia Dayton both present Made By Mammas podcastCredit: Instagram / @madebymammas
Family portrait outdoors.
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Zoe Hardman and Paul Doran-Jones with their kidsCredit: Instagram / @zoehardman

What your sexual fantasies say about you

Bya TV presenter and psychologist

Raucous Role Play: If your partner enjoys dressing up for fun, it shows creativity and a desire to keep things exciting. However, it might signal that he struggles with responsibility.

Multi-Partner Fantasies: Craving variety doesn't always mean he wants to cheat. However, it could indicate deeper feelings of unfulfillment.

Power & Control: A little dominance is normal, but if it's always about control, it may hide insecurities.

Adventure: Men seeking thrills may push boundaries, so be sure your comfort zone is respected.

Passion: If he’s romantic, he’s emotionally tuned in—though occasionally avoiding tough conversations.

Flexibility: Openness to new experiences is great, but constant novelty-seeking could mean avoiding emotional connection.

Red Flag: If control is his ultimate fantasy, it may signal a deeper struggle with power dynamics.

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