SETTLE DOWN
I want to move in with my partner but he still lives with his mum at 40
My partner’s attitude is that we should be having fun and planning holidays
DEAR DEIDRE: I WANT to move in with my partner but he is reluctant to find a place together because he’s always lived with his mum. He’s 40.
I’m 37 and I live with my mum, too.
We met at church and went on an outing together and were inseparable.
We started dating and it was wonderful to be with someone so special.
We started to have a sexual relationship and, to me, it seemed only natural that we would move in together.
My mother is very needy and seems reluctant to do anything for herself and yet she’s only 58 and in good health.
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I’m even more keen to leave because of her.
My partner’s attitude is that we should be having fun and planning holidays rather than worrying about the future.
He also says he likes his own space.
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I’d like us to be together so I want us to save for a deposit.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: He’s set in his ways and can’t see a time when he will cut those apron strings.
But you’ve grown out of a dating relationship.
You’re looking to settle down and perhaps start a family of your own.
Tell him you need a compromise or this relation-ship isn’t going to work.
Suggest renting a place short term to give you both a chance to see what life would be like living together.
If he refuses to do even that, he’s not right for you.
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